When I Question God ...

While on the other side of the world in the slums of Calcutta the worst happened, I got extremely sick.  It is bad enough to get sick at home.  But it is a whole other thing to get sick while away from home.  This was one of the worst stomach viruses I've ever had.  I'm 2 for 3 out of my trips to India now - been sick 2 out of my 3 trips.  Not very good odds so far.

Thankfully, I was able to be cared for in Mercy Hospital, a life saving centre in downtown Calcutta, and part of the reason for our trip.  Mercy Hospital is a ministry of missionary Huldah Buntain and her late husband Mark.  I couldn't help but egotistically think that God may have even thought of me in my pitiful sickness when he laid it heavily on their hearts to build this hospital and medical program that today treats 100,000 people for free each year across India that are too poor to go anywhere else.

Even with this amazing hospital caring for me, I couldn't help but grumble within myself.  Sitting there in a foreign land, wishing I was home.  I was the trip leader?  I didn't deserve this?  Why would God allow this?  I tried to be careful?  So many thoughts ... questions ran through my head.  Why God?  Why?

After some time I had a revelation of Christ's sufferings.  I know God can handle our questions - he's a big God.  However, whenever I question God's mercy, I must remember the unexplainable sacrifice of God in Christ.  He endured humanity.  He endured the cross.  He died for me.  The question now shifts.  It is not - why is this happening to me, God?  But rather, why would bad things happen to you, God?  For in my imperfect, failed humanity I at least deserve some bad things.  Yet, you in your perfect beauty deserve none of this.  Yet you gave of yourself.  You also endured pain, suffering, trials, even death.

When I question God ... I must remember God has many more reasons to question me.